rofl 70 grade oil. I tried that once.... almost sealed up a broken oil ring, I wouldn't put it in anything that runs ok though. Drag oil is absolutely the worst approach ever for a noisy startup, thicker oil just takes longer to pump around, hence startup damage.

Wrongway indeed.

NB: Also most filters have non-returns these days, it's what aids in startup pressure. You can get a Z9 in a smaller casing which will boost oil pressure but it's only a bandaid, as is 70 grade oil.