Probably the airbag warning globe is blown.

I've never had an EL beep at me for a service reminder.

Neither have i. Find where the beep is and pull it out!

You need to check your dash lights,

Your ABS and Airbag lights on the dash should light up once the ignition to turned on, engine off

Make sure for starters that your airbag and ABS lights are working, If not someone may of taken the globes out, That is a RWC item and fails if not working,
Let me know the result, If you need information to check codes let me know I will post them up

Scotty