Haha, the title probably got all ur baseball bats out. Basically I want to lower my EF GLi but the prob is that I got 16" rims. I think going Kings Superlow will be too low? Also will be fitting EL XR skirts around the side and rear, and Venom front bar. I have a habit of hitting my tires against the kerb while parking (front on) so I would prefer to have atleast some clearance so not to ruin my front bar within a day or so.

Superlows will be too low for 16" rims yes? I would like a little lower than XR6 height. Will I ABSOLUTELY need a Castor kit? Really can't afford to spend over $600 just to get the car a few cm lower.

Also, I know Monroe GT Gas shocks are the go for lows. But if Superlow is ok, which shocks should I be looking at?

go super-lows will be fine, but you will have to learn to park your car without smashing into the kurb

Yeh lol, gotta learn. Um, with Superlows...is it absolutely necessary to get a castor/camber kit? Also, will I scrape every little dent in the road?

castor/camber kit usually necessary regardless of whether you lower it or not. also it shouldn't matter what size rims you have as overall diameter should be the same or close to.